


Shaking at Your Touch

by antimorston



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Apologies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Missing Scene, Relationship Problems, talk of suicide; drugs; overdose :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22832290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antimorston/pseuds/antimorston
Summary: Missing scene from 1x03. TK and Carlos talk it out.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand
Comments: 16
Kudos: 241





	Shaking at Your Touch

**Author's Note:**

> i don’t like how they went from dysfunctional to a seemingly completely understanding couple in just a few eps so i wanted to write out some of the communication that would get them there  
> [title from [falling for you by weezer](https://youtu.be/hdrAsZ7ebuc)]

_“I’m sorry I went crazy on you the other night.”_

_“I’m a cop; I’m used to crazy.”_

_“Look, I just went through a really bad breakup. Like nuclear bad. And then…I relapsed.”_

_“You mean with me?”_

_“No. I mean with substances.”_

—

Carlos watched TK leave the station, then set his head down on his desk. “ _You mean with me?_ ” He whispered to himself mockingly. Fuck. 

McCoy clapped his shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts. “Officer, you’ve got another to process.” 

Carlos blinked and lifted his head. “Yeah, I’m-I’m gonna take a quick bathroom break first.”

McCoy looked at him with something that he couldn’t quite decipher, but he decided was pity.

He got up and bolted that way, making sure his phone was in his pocket. When he made it, he locked the door, put his back to it, and slid down until he was sitting. He put his head between his knees, breathing hard. 

He was a _douchebag._

He called TK crazy the other night, and when TK apologized for acting that way—which he did because Carlos said something that pushed a button that TK _really_ didn’t need pushed—Carlos was so insensitive as to assume his “relapse” was relationship-related, not in the sense of the word that they were both accustomed to. 

He needed to apologize. 

He wiped his eyes and fished the phone from his pocket, tapping his messaging app and scrolling to reach TK’s thread. 

_Hey. I need to make things right between us. I’ve been insensitive, and even if you don’t want this to go any further, I don’t want there to be hard feelings. Want to meet for dinner sometime, when you’re ready?_

He pressed his face into his hand, sniffling. Then, he took a deep breath, stood up, and rinsed his face off in the sink. He barely knew TK; he had no idea why he was so torn up about hurting him unintentionally. He was hurt, too. But something about TK drew him in and made him want to _help_ him through his pain. He wiped the water off of his face, unlocked the door, and left the bathroom. 

For the rest of his shift—luckily, only two hours—he checked his phone incessantly. TK responded right as he was packing up to leave for the night, and if Carlos found that very convenient and a little suspicious, he didn’t think about it much.

_Yeah. I do like fish, btw. And I’m off tomorrow at midnight, but I won’t misread the situation again if you want to do it then._

Carlos smiled, but his heart hurt a little bit. TK did blame himself for everything between them. Sure, they should’ve communicated. Yes, the blame was shared, but Carlos felt so guilty about how he reacted to TK’s reaction to dinner. 

He typed a response. 

_I get off at 11. I can cook at my place, if that’s what you want?_

He leaned against his car, watching TK’s typing bubble. 

_Sure. Meet there at 1? I’ll have to shower after my shift but I don’t want to keep you up too late._

Carlos sighed and let his head drop. Even when he’d been an ass to him, TK was still being considerate. 

_Don’t worry about keeping me up, I don’t work the next day. 1 is fine. What do you want to eat?_

He got into his car and started it, planning the morning before. He would go shopping before work, get the food TK liked, and then go to work. He had about an hour and a half to prepare and cook it before TK got there, so complex dishes weren’t out. 

_I’m not picky. I don’t drink, though._

Carlos sighed and put his hand on his forehead. 

_I know that now. I’ll be apologizing more tomorrow about that, but I’ll get you some sparkling grape juice to pair with the food._

TK’s typing bubble popped up and disappeared three times before a new message came in. 

_Mineral water is just fine, you don’t have to get a pseudo-alcohol for me._

Carlos bit at the inside of his cheek. 

_I’ll get a nice bottle of mineral water for you then, if they sell them in large glass bottles. Either way, it’s going to be fancy because that’s what you deserve._

Was that too much? That was definitely too much. He quickly started typing again before TK could send something in response. 

_Sorry, didn’t mean it that way, all romantic gesture-y. You’re great, I want this to be a gesture of sorts, but not a romantic gesture if you’re not into it._

He hoped that didn’t make it worse. 

TK didn’t type for very long. 

_Don’t stress yourself out too much over how I’m interpreting what you’re saying, lol. I get it._

Carlos let out a slow breath. Then he got another message. 

_And don’t make this whole dinner too stressful on yourself either, or the talk. I want to make things right between us, and after today at the station, I feel like I can open up to you, but you don’t have to jump through all of these hoops you set up for yourself to get there._

Carlos’s heart stopped. His hands shook as he typed out the most daring message he’d sent in months. 

_TK, do you want to meet up right now and talk?_

He only had to wait moments for a response. 

_I’d love to._

* * *

They were both at Carlos’s apartment within the next half hour, sitting on his couch and staring at each other awkwardly. 

Carlos finally drew in a breath, and turned to fully face TK. “I am sorry. I’ve been an insensitive asshole. I called you crazy, twice, when you were just being emotional—the second time was just talking about it, but I shouldn’t have referred to you that way. I offered you champagne even though you’ve suffered with addiction. I said something the other night that pushed you to act emotionally, and I’m sorry for letting my hurt make me angry instead of talking to you. I’m sorry for being a douche at the station when you told me about your relapse, I don’t even know what ‘with me’ was really supposed to mean, but I said it, and it was shitty of me, and I apologize.”

TK looked at him and breathed slowly. “I accept your apologies. I want to…I want to tell you about why I reacted the way I did the other night.” He closed his eyes and his tongue peeked between his lips, just enough that the pink was noticeable.

Carlos wanted to kiss him. “Okay, take your time,” he answered in a whisper. He shifted a little closer, enough that his knees almost brushed TK’s. 

“Back in Manhattan, I had a boyfriend.” He opened his eyes and set his hand down, palm up in invitation. Carlos took it. “You knew that, though.” Carlos nodded, furrowing his brow and giving TK’s hand a gentle squeeze. “We’d been together for a while, so I bought a ring, and took him out to dinner.” 

Carlos closed his eyes and turned his head away. “It was what I said about a marriage proposal.” He’d assumed something along those lines, but he knew, based on what else TK had said, that worse things were following. 

“Yeah.” 

“Fuck. I’m sorry.” He felt TK squeeze his hand, and he looked back up. 

“It’s alright.” He paused, as if drawing from a well of courage, and continued. “He stopped me mid-proposal and told me he was in love with someone else. I went home and tried to-” He stopped, swallowing hard. “I overdosed. On purpose. I’d been clean for years.” 

“Oh, TK,” Carlos whispered, almost a whine, “and I called you suicidal today too, fuck!” Carlos bit his tongue, wondering how TK had kept most of his cool throughout the station visit. 

“You did,” TK said, a little bit of a pained smile on his face. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“Thank you for apologizing.” TK pulled on his hand, and Carlos moved closer. 

“Hey, if I ever do something again that’s triggering like that, you have full permission to go ‘crazy’ on me.” He used one-handed air quotes with the word “crazy,” and earned a smile. “Just, please talk to me.” 

TK nodded and pulled him closer again, almost close enough that one more tug and Carlos would be sitting on his lap. “I like talking to you. I don’t know how ready I am for…anything…but if we take things slow, I think I want to start a whole thing with you.”

“We’ll take it as slow as you need, TK.” Carlos lifted his free hand to trace along the edges of TK’s tearstained cheeks. 

“You can call me Tyler. But if anyone else starts because of you, I’m going to kill them.” He smiled at Carlos, but Carlos didn’t smile back. 

“Seriously? I have to pretend I didn’t hear that, because now those are premeditated.” TK laughed. He leaned in close, pressing a chaste kiss to Carlos’s cheek. 

“I know we’re taking things slow for me, but if there’s anything we need to go slower on, for you, then we can do that too,” he murmured. 

“Of course. Thank you.” He cradled the side of TK’s face, moving his thumb back and forth on TK’s cheekbone when he leaned into the touch. 

“I should get going, my dad will be getting worried.” TK didn’t open his eyes when he spoke, just moved his mouth. It was a little odd, and a little heartbreaking. 

“Sure,” Carlos answered. He withdrew from TK and stood, holding out a hand to help him up. TK looked up at him and took it, allowing Carlos to lead him to the kitchen. “Take something before you go, to keep you up on the drive.” 

TK smiled and did, picking out a small bag of dried mangos. They were Carlos’s favorite, and he smiled as TK pocketed them. They went to the front door, where TK put on his shoes and stepped outside. Carlos followed him, but only by one step. 

“Goodnight, Tyler.” 

“Goodnight, Carlos.” TK leaned in, catching Carlos in a gentle kiss before he turned to leave. Carlos watched his ass. Respectfully. 

When he made it back to his apartment, TK texted Carlos that he’d arrived safely, and Carlos was able to go to bed peacefully, but lonely. 

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is [here](https://bikerfaggot.tumblr.com) :3 please talk to me about carlos  
> please make me cry with a comment (any comment will make me cry)


End file.
